The Return (of sorts) of Fat F*ck vs. Food
Thursday 6 September 2007 @ 12:59 pm

Tuesday, 9/4

It’s another barely-leave-the-house kinda day, as I spend the morning checking email, IMing and blogging. My brother calls to talk about “Red State” (I forwarded him a copy as well), and we wind up chatting and bullshitting for three hours. He’s a good guy, my brother.

After that, I spend a majority of the day working on the “Heroes” script in my bedroom office while Harley has another play-date and Jen runs errands. When I finally emerge from Script Central, Jen and I dig into more “Closer.” The Kyra Sedgwick procedural has replaced our sex life for the time being.

Jen, Gail, Harley and Harley’s friend dig into some Chin-Chin upstairs, and I play some “Mario Bros.” on the DS, trying not to think about pork fried rice. Harley’s friend gets picked up, and we put Harley to bed.

Back in the room, we finish “The Closer” box set, watch the “Weeds” we’d TiVo’ed, then fall asleep to some “Frasier.”

Wednesday, 9/5

I get up at seven and shower. After that, Jen and I take Harley to her first day of third grade. Time fucking flies, man…

Following that, I bring Jen to Whole Foods where she grabs some stuff while I read Google news in the car (bless you, iPhone). Since we killed the entire first season of “The Closer”, the wife and I are desperate to dive into Season 2. Virgin doesn’t open ’til ten, so we head to Target to grab the next box set. On the way home, we head to smoke shop for a reload, and I bring Jen to Baja Fresh for a breakfast burrito.

We watch an episode of “The Closer,” then I fall asleep for two hours. When I wake up, I send copies of “Red State” to Ming in the Jersey office to deliver to Harvey and Bob. After that, Vince Rocca and his wife come over to conduct an interview for a book on indie filmmaking he’s written. We talk for three hours.

When the interview’s over, I chill with Jen, Gail and Harley in the kitchen for a bit, then head downstairs to check email and catch up on some “Closer” I missed when I fell asleep. Jen and I put Harley to bed, and then retire with more “Closer” eps.

All in all, an alright day – but I miss eating solids. I’m on Day 3 of my all-liquid diet: the Optifast diet.

I believe in the OptiFast diet. I’ve done it before and lost chunks of weight (sixty or seventy pounds, right before we shot “Clerks II”, two years back). I’d started this same diet in earnest back in Jan/Feb, and made it a month deep, dropping thirty pounds and a couple of waist sizes. Everything was going well.

Then, while up in Vancouver for the “Reaper” pilot back in March, it all went to Hell (pun intended). I started a month-long affair with Tim Horton’s, then started cheating on the donuts with Sutton Hotel room service every night (pizza, PB&J, nachos, and cookies). I derailed in a big motherfucking way. From there, I shot over to the UK to do some Q&A’s and somehow found a way to keep eating there, too – even though I’m not into Brit grub. When we got hope, I just kept eating, and eating, and eating. My plan in Feb was to get down to my “Clerks II” weight in time for the “Live Free or Die Hard” premiere. By the time the preem rolled around, I was back up to my starting weight. And then, all summer long, I was like “I’m starting my diet on Monday…” – which became “I’m starting my diet on Wednesday.” That would usually dissolve into “I’m starting my diet this Monday, for sure.” I’ve had about five months straight of “I’m starting my diet Monday.” Well, that elusive Monday finally came.

I’m not crawling the walls desperate to eat (that was Monday), but I keep passing those leftover bagels in the kitchen and hearing “Life’s too short to not eat that shit.” I think it’s the egg bagel, in particular, that’s casting a siren song the way of my obese ears. But I’m not truly hungry, so I won’t eat. I’ll eat again, mind you – just not for the time being. Gotta think of it as a vacation from food, not a divorce.

Still – that means you, gentle blog-reader, will have to put up with regular diet reports yet again. And when I hit my goal weight, I’ll tell you exactly, pound-wise, how bad it got.



Hey kids! New SModcast!

SModcast 27: Scott-Land

In which, after too long an absence, Mos finally returns… and has his heterosexuality repeatedly called into question. Also: a contest!

Stop reading this and download that shit right now, then come back and let me know what you think.

Brought to you by the good folks at…

(Also available through an iTunes Subscription.)


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