Gals, do you live in or near L.A.? Are you looking for submissive, easily bossed-around boys to be your love slaves, with the small price being that you’ll have to put up with ‘em screeching “EXCELSIOR!” and “SNIKT!!!” all the time (not to mention that you’ll probably have to teach ‘em how to eat pussy)?
Then you need to get your man-hunting asses over to UCLA this Saturday night at 7pm, for the ultimate Sausage Party. Unsullied cocks will abound at this special, one-time only event!
“Marvel: Then and Now” – a discussion between Stan Lee and Joe Quesada (as mediated by yours truly). Come watch as legions of eligible bachelors line up to hear a living legend and an artist-turned-editor-in-chief talk about wall-crawlers and shell-heads, and ask questions so inside and arcane, you’ll think they were speaking another language! It’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel for you women-folk! You’ll have the pick of the litter: unshaped clay you can mold into your old perfect man!
And then, order your tickets right here (or pick ‘em up at the door on Saturday night).
If you’re one of those women who’re forever grousing that all the best men are either married or gay, quit yer bitchin’ and start your mission! Mr. Rights aren’t simply found; they’re made! Take matters into your own hands this Saturday night at UCLA, with a roomful of certifiably disease-free and undamaged goods!