“Live Free or Die Hard” OPENS TODAY!
Wednesday 27 June 2007 @ 2:01 pm

Why the fuck aren’t you in a theater watching it right now?

(Me and the wife at the premiere)

I loved this flick. Naturally, I’m biased because I’m in it. But as of this writing, it’s got a 78% “fresh” rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so apparently, I’m not alone.

As I did earlier this year with “Catch and Release”, I’ve collected all the positive pull quotes regarding my little role (played with a very big roll, barely contained under my three costume shirts).

Of course, there were a handful of naysayers, the best of which was Ty Burr in the Boston Globe who wrote “They bring on Kevin Smith, the “Clerks” director and, increasingly, an indie-cred muppet for studio movies…” Any outrage I might’ve mustered evaporated after reading “indie-cred muppet”; unfair or not, that shit’s funny.

But in the reviews that mentioned me (and not all of them do, as I’m not exactly a prominent presence in the flick), the lion’s-share were thumbs-up. And while I won’t be quitting my day job to concentrate on acting any time soon, it was nice to know I didn’t just not sink the picture, I actually helped in some small way (nobody wants to be the guy that fucks up “Die Hard”). Thanks, all, for the kind words.

Here we go.

The best of the lot comes from my second favorite country and my first favorite province…

There’s also a delicious cameo from Kevin Smith as the primus inter pares of geeks, the sort of thirtysomething who still lives with his mommy in a basement filled with enough high-tech equipment to start a revolution – or, in this case, to thwart one. In the moments at his disposal, Smith almost steals the flick. He’s so wittily government-phobic that I found myself hoping for a climax that would blow Bruce Willis away and promote Kevin Smith to saviour-of-the-free-world. Now that might be a sequel worth rooting for.
Rick Groen, Toronto Globe and Mail

A little home-town love is always nice…

And still another Jersey guy spices up the movie: Kevin Smith, the former Red Bank and Highlands resident, arrives midway as Warlock, a cranky computer genius who knows how to find everybody, including the hackers. This is a perfect fit for Smith, who can talk so fast he sounds authoritative about things digital, and whose www.viewaskew.com was a pioneer in the marketing and blogging Web site world.
Eleanor O’Sullivan, Asbury Park Press

Quickly followed by some home-state love…

The biggest laughs come from cameo scenes featuring filmmaker Kevin Smith, who delivers deadpan quips as a goofy tech guru with a mythical reputation online.
Lisa Rose, Newark Star Ledger

The best-named newspaper in the U.S. says…

But Willis shows more comic sparks with Kevin Smith, appearing in a few scenes as Matt’s hacker pal.
Carla Meyer, Sacremento Bee

AP, which winds up running just about everywhere, wrote…

Filmmaker Kevin Smith adds an amusing bit part as a distrustful computer nerd holed up in a “command center” in his mom’s basement.
David Germain, Associated Press

A guy who hasn’t said anything nice about me since maybe “Chasing Amy”, wrote…

Any doubts about how seriously pic is intended are dispelled in the third act with the arrival of Kevin “Clerks” Smith as the ultimate high-tech geek who humorously handles an overload of exposition and helps close the noose around Gabriel and his misguided cohorts.
Todd McCarthy, Variety

The other industry bible offers not exactly high praise for my performance as much as my casting (but I’ll take it)…

The most amusing casting belongs to filmmaker/Web site proprietor Kevin Smith, who turns up as a master hacker who never leaves his basement but might possess a key to taking Gabriel down.
Kirk Honeycutt, Hollywood Reporter

The mid-west calls my gusto “zany”…

Here he enlists the aid of “Warlock,” an Internet troll who lives in his mom’s basement (or as he insists, his “Command Center”) to bring down the supervillain. Kevin Smith plays the part with zany gusto
Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune

Slate reminds me I need to get back on the diet…

Director Kevin Smith does a funny eleventh-hour cameo as a chubby computer whiz called the Warlock.
Dana Stevens, Slate

The best named website says…

There’s also a terrific cameo by director Kevin Smith (Clerks)
Gabriel Shanks, Modern Fabulosity

Even the normally cranky, bile-tossing AICN shows some enthusiasm…

Strangely enough, as distracting as he is, Kevin Smith’s scene turned out to be one of my favorite pieces of the movie.
Quint, Ain’t It Cool News

The review that reminds me I’m not well-hung…

Kevin Smith nails his small part.
Ben Lyons, E!Online

I’m happy to get grouped in with Bruce here…

Willis has a few deadpan zingers, as does Kevin Smith as a buddy of Long’s
Claudia Puig, USA Today

The L.A. Times gives rare (but deserving) props to the casting directors (Go Deb!)…

Helping with that is the expert work of casting directors Deborah Aquila and Tricia Wood, who’ve surrounded the star with actors who are right for their parts. Whether it’s… or even director Kevin Smith moonlighting as a “digital Jedi” named Warlock, each performer noticeably adds to the film’s effectiveness.
Kenneth Turan, LA Times

Some Pac-Nor-West affection…

In addition to the crackling hum of buddy-movie chemistry he gets out of Willis and Long, Wiseman makes an intriguing character of a dislikable but ultimately trustworthy FBI officer (Cliff Curtis) and a fine bit of comic relief of a master hacker living in his mom’s basement (Kevin Smith).
Shawn Levy, The Oregonian

My new best friend writes…

Fans of director Kevin Smith (“Clerks”) should enjoy watching the talented filmmaker play a compulsive computer mastermind. The paranoid character, who lives in his mother’s basement, offers McClane the only chance of saving his daughter, and watching Smith’s character rise to the occasion ranks as one of the film’s high points.
Lou Gaul, Calkins Media

I’m always happy to be desribed as “small”…

Filmmaker Kevin Smith pops in for a small but significant supporting role as an ultimate techno-geek, a couch potato still living with mom and going by the grandiose appellation of Warlock.
Dann Gire, Chicago Daily Herald

Or “amusing”…

Kevin Smith puts in an amusing appearance as a slothful computer nerd.
Hap Erstein, Palm Beach Post

My man Pete at /Film says…

And Kevin Smith makes an extended cameo as “The Warlock”, a “digital jedi”-like hacker who still lives in his mother’s basement. His scenes are a great break from the nonstop action.
Peter Sciretta, Slashfilm

This almost seems like a warning…

Look out for Kevin Smith who provides comic relief as the computer nerd who holds the answers to Gabriel’s secrets.
Angela Baldassarre, Sympatico.ca

I always strive for “aplomb”…

Kevin Smith has a cameo as a computer geek living in his mother’s basement, and performs his duties with aplomb.
John Devore, NY Sun

Normally I’m called a “master-bator”, so this was nice…

Instead that role is filled by Kevin Smith, in a cameo as the stereotypical, basement dwelling, computer nerd. Kevin’s a master communicator so he’s great on screen, but the films seems to treat him as if he’s twelve instead of thirty-seven. Something about that’s not right, and it’s no fault of Kevin’s.
Josh Tyler, Cinema Blend

Happy to be called “oddball”…

Some other interesting roles include an oddball cameo by Kevin Smith (much better known as a director) playing yet another paranoid technology type called “Warlock”
Ron Wynn, Nashville City Paper

I think they’re saying I’m more in the “hilarious” range than “heart-pumping”…

Live Free Or Die Hard takes off into wild, simultaneously hilarious and heart-pumping territory as crime spree computer-manipulated traffic lights cause massive chain reaction collisions all around downtown DC; malevolently mixed electronic signals get McClane cornered by a missile-shooting fighter jet on the freeway; and Kevin Smith as fleshy cellar couch potato cyber-braniac Warlock incredulously assists in saving the day for all.
Prairie Miller, Long Island Press

Another shout-out from the Great White North…

To that end, he has employed – and then summarily executed – the country’s leading computer hackers. All except two, not coincidentally representing the movie’s cleverest casting calls, the TV-commercial Apple shill Justin Long, and the director and occasional actor Kevin Smith.
Rob Salem, Toronto Star

And just in case no one’s sure where my character lives, these guys remind you…

Kevin Smith shows up in a nice featured role, as a computer genius who lives in his mother’s basement.
Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle

Also notable in the cast are Kevin Smith as a “digital Jedi” who lives in his mother’s basement
James Verniere, Boston Herald

Gabriel’s motives are murky at best, and he’s way too well dressed for a computer geek. Kevin Smith, who has an amusing cameo as a hacker who lives in his mother’s basement, seems closer to the truth.
Lou Lumenick, NY Post

Kevin Smith turns up as a super-geek who helps his country while working in his harridan mother’s basement–Mr. Smith’s presence in the film telling us something about the seriousness of purpose of director Len Wiseman
Harvey S. Karten, Arizona Reporter

So there it is, thus far. Big thanks to the critics listed above, Deb (for suggesting me), Len (for including me in the fun), Bruce and Justin (for making me feel welcome), and any of you cats who’re going – though don’t go for me; go because the movie’s a blast.

(The fat guy in the basement who didn’t ruin “Live Free or Die Hard”)


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