Wednesday, 4/6/2005
Wednesday 6 April 2005 @ 11:58 am

- 6:30. Fucking 6:30. Why can’t these dogs sleep ’til ten? I let ‘em out of the room but, mercifully, Byron’s upstairs to let ‘em out-out. I head to the bathroom, take a leak, then retire to my office to update the diary.

- Mewes wakes up, and I take him to get some smokes. We head down to the Ford dealer to pick up Byron (who dropped his truck off for some work), and I call Jen and ask her if she wants to get dressed and head to breakfast with me and Mewes, to celebrate his two years of sobriety.

- I drop off Byron and pick up Jen, and her, Mewes and I hit the Griddle. We chit-chat about Mewes’ new flick, and try to figure out whether or not we’ve got enough time to hit the Bicycle Casino near Long Beach before Mewes’ call time. It would seem not, so we decide to scrap the Bike for today and do it this weekend instead.

- When I get home, there’s a situation heating up – a situation which could wind up pushing the “Clerks 2″ shoot by a month and change. The producer Jenno Topping (who, aside from being a producer is also the main squeeze of Project Greenlight’s Chris Moore) has sent me a script, not to direct (smart lady), but to act in. It’s this movie Susanah Grant (writer of “Erin Brokovich”) wrote and is directing, called “Catch and Release”, which stars Jennifer Garner and Timothy Olyphant. I’d be playing Sam, who’s in the flick quite a bit. Somehow, off of “Evening With Kevin Smith”, Susanah thinks I’m right for the role, and Jenno’s not doing the smart thing and trying to convince her otherwise. So Jeno and I talk about it, and she says that Phil (Raskind, my agent) insists it can’t happen, because we’re due to shoot “C2″ in June. However, that schedule’s not set yet, and we’re talking about pushing maybe a month and a half here (maybe two) to do something I’ve never been offered before: a big part in a big movie.

- I call Phil about it, and we hash it out, and talk about whether it’s even a possibility. By call’s end, I decide I should talk to Harvey about it.

- I call Harvey and tell him about the flick. Harvey says that I should probably read the script (I haven’t, at this point; meant to take it with me to NJ and Ill last weekend, but my carry-on was overpacked already). He says “If it’s gonna make you Tom Cruise, then do it.” I tell him it’s not gonna make me Tom Cruise, but that nothing short of a deal with Lucifer is ever gonna do that anyway. He says “My first instinct is to say you should keep your powder dry, because you’ve got ‘The Passion’ coming up. But if they’re gonna pay you a lot to do it…” I tell him I don’t know what I’d be getting paid, and he says to call him back once I’ve read the script – as that’s the key factor in deciding to make/be in any movie. He also tells me that Fox Searchlight might be coming in with New Co. on “Clerks 2″ and handling the foreign side. Since Searchlight’s had such a killer few years lately, and since both Harvey and Searchlight previously worked together on (and did so well with their respective releases of) “Garden State”, this is awesome news.

- Jen comes home from a mani/pedi/brow, and I hit her with all of this. She’s kinda floored. She says “You never cease to amaze me.” I said “When I’m all kinds of terrible in this flick, you’ll cease to be amazed.” She says “If I were you, I’d be really flattered that somebody thought of you to do this at all,” to which I agree, but counter with “But I’m not an actor. I don’t wanna be an actor. I’ve never wanted to be an actor.” She says “Maybe that’s why they thought of you.” Regardless, she thinks I should at least give it a shot, inasmuch as I should read the script and meet with the director. I tell her I can’t read the script ’til tonight, because I’m gonna be in the office all day working on the “Mallrats” re-cut, so she says she’s gonna give the script a read in my absence.

- I shower and take Byron back to the Ford dealer to pick up his truck. On my way back, I call Jen and suggest she meet me downstairs so I can take her to the cleaners to pick up her tailored dress. On the way over, she starts breaking the script down for me, talking about the first half, and whether or not I can pull this part off (she thinks I can; but then, she also thinks I’m attractive, so it’s already been proven that this woman is delusional).

- We grab her dress, and while Jen’s getting some Coffee Bean, Jon Gordon calls. I debrief him, and he, too, is like “It might be worth pushing the ‘Clerks 2′ shoot, because who knows what comes of you acting in this flick? Maybe you open yourself up to a completely different audience who’ll try out ‘Clerks 2′?” I say “A completely different audience who’ll then hate ‘Clerks 2′?” We talk about the Fox Searchlight development before he’s gotta jump off the phone. I drop Jen off at the house and head to the office to talk to Mosier about all this.

- At the office, I fill Mos in (not like that, you fucking children…), and we talk about the feasibility of moving the “Clerks 2″ shoot by a month or two. It’s do-able, but will anyone be happy about waiting? We talk about how Mos will fill in that two month gap, and come up with an option: if he gets bored, he can take over editing duties on Malcolm’s doc (which is editor-less at the moment). Phil, meanwhile, has called to say this “Catch and Release” thing is getting serious, and that he’s starting to feel like I should give it a shot, too. He’s gonna read the script tonight, and I tell him I’ll be doing the same.

- Jen calls to tell me she’s finished reading the script. She’s not a chick-flick fan, but she loves this script. She says it’s really warm, touching, and poignant. She says I can do Sam in my sleep (not like that, you fucking children…), and that she thinks I should give it a shot.

- Mos and I head up to the house, where Jen’s getting ready for her Birthday Dinner Girls Night Out with her friends. I tell her that Mos and I are gonna head to the Palm for dinner and then over to the Bike for some poker. She looks pretty-as-hell in her newly tailored dress and tiara, and I tell her so. I also tell her to have a good time, and with that, Mos and I are off to the Palm.

- At the Palm, me and Mos both get Filet Mignon (his well-done, mine black and blue), and over some beers, we talk about this book he’s reading in which a former travel writer breaks down science (from the Big Bang to evolution) into laymen’s terms. After dinner, we opt to pop in on the Girl’s Night Out at Koi, the sushi place on La Cienega. We valet the car, and head to the entry, getting snapped repeatedly by paparazzi standing outside. The paparazzi are an important aspect of the story solely because of what happens next: forty seconds later, the bouncer tells me I can’t come in because I’m in shorts. I tell him I’m not staying, and that I just wanted to pop in and give my wife a kiss; it’ll take four minutes, tops. He says it’ll take no minutes, because I’m in shorts. Mos heads in to get Jen, while I stand at the entry, pretty okay with the whole affair, even if the papazazzi are snapping away at me. Seeing that I’m somebody the paparazzi seem to feel is worth wasting film on, the bouncer says “You can step inside the door and wait right there.” I tell him it’s cool, I get it, and that I don’t wanna get him in trouble. After a minute more, he says “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, so I’m not gonna be standing her for a few minutes. If you were to walk in, I wouldn’t know – ya’ dig?” I tell him I’ve got no interest in flaunting house rules, but thanks anyway. Then, the Birthday Girl (well, tomorrow anyway) emerges and we make out a little in the doorway of Koi, until the Bouncer returns from his leak and says “The boss says you can go in.” So in I go with my wife, say hi to all the ladies at her table (Chay, Trish, Daniella, Lisa, Cookie, and Fanshen), kiss Jen again, and head off with Mos.

- We stop at the house so I can grab more gum and Mos can grab the house keys he left behind, and we head toward the Pig ‘n Whistle, where Mewes is shooting tonight. I call his cell, but no answer, so Mos and I take the 101 to the 5 to the Long Beach Freeway and the Bike. As we exit, Mewes calls, and I tell him we tried to swing by. He’s bummed to not be going to the Bike too, and says if he gets off early, he’ll call and join us.

- At the Bike, Mos and I play ’til 1 or so. Our table’s filled with the usual assortment of rounders and characters. Tonight, the highlight is the Mexican couple in their late 20′s/early 30′s, who’re on a roll. The woman keeps saying to everyone at the table “I’m not married, but my boyfriend is!” She digs this line, because she says it at least twenty times as the night goes on. A fan who’d been playing with us for half an hour quietly introduces himself and lets us know he’s a fan, which causes a dude at the other end of the table to whisper to the couple “I knew it.” By one a.m., Mos and I are ready to Donkey out, so we go all in on shit hands. We leave two hundred bucks lighter (we were only playing at the $2/$3/No Limit table) and head home.

- I drop Mos off at his house, which is historic because, in the nearly-year he and Cookie have owned the house, I’ve never been over. It’s in Echo Park, and it’s pretty sweet, with excellent foliage up front, a nice backyard, and a killer fireplace. I peep it out, take a dump (couldn’t hold it anymore), and head home.

- At home, Jen’s half in the bag after drinking martinis at Koi all night. But before I can take advantage of it, she falls asleep. Shortly thereafter, I do the same, watching TiVo’ed “Simpsons.”


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