A few months back, I turned down an interview with a journalist I had once made the mistake of allowing into my home for an L.A. Times piece. Without going into detail, during that interview, the scribe creeped me the fuck out – something which had never happened to me in an interview before, hasn’t happened since, and is really hard to do at all, considering I work beside the King of Creepy almost every day.
So when the journo was assigned to interview me again this fall, I politely passed. Perhaps as payback for declining to sit with him a second time, the guy wrote a smear piece about me, in which it was posited that I’d “burned out” my career because I smoke too much weed (as if such a thing is possible). Problem with the piece, beyond the tough-to-miss grinding axe? It was more out of touch with reality than I supposedly was. The author seemed to think that the film biz was my only career, ignoring the podcasting concern as well as the touring business (which has now spread to other continents – even the far away ones), the book deal, the AMC show…
Well, I don’t know how much that Distinguished Individual Covering Kev accomplished during his 2011, but what follows is a nearly complete list of all the work-related shit (and maybe a few personal milestones) Fatty McStoner enjoyed in 2011 – bookended by New Year’s Eve performances of Hollywood Babble-On with me and Ralph Garman at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club and Podcast Theater.
It won’t take you long to read: after all, how much could a burned-out stoner possibly get done in 365 days anyway?
——-JANUARY——-
12/31 – 1/1
Hollywood Babble-On New Years Fiasco,
The Jon Lovitz Comedy Club and Podcast Theater,
Universal CityWalk
1/1
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old,
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
1/3
Red State of the Union: Kerry Bishe
SModcastle
1/7
8pm: Hollywood Babble-On
10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
1/10
Red State of the Union: Kyle Gallner
SModcastle
1/12
SModist at Nerdcastle Mash-Up Show
SModcastle
1/14
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
1/15
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
1/17
Red State of the Union: Michael Parks
SModcastle
1/18
AOL Late Night promo shoot
AOL, Los Angeles
1/23
Red State World Premiere
Sundance Film Festival
Park City, Utah
1/28
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
1/29
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
1/31
Kev on Chelsea Lately
Los Angeles, CA
——-FEBRUARY——-
2/4
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
2/5
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
2/7
- Opie & Anthony
Sirius/XM, NYC
- Gotham book deal for Tough Shit
Penguin Books, NY
2/8
-Imus in the Morning
NYC
-Joy Behar Show,
HLN, NYC
2/10
Red State International distributor screening
Berlin Film Festival Market, Germany
2/12
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
2/13
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old,
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
2/18
- Real Time with Bill Mahr,
Los Angeles, CA
- Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
2/19
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
2/22
Piers Morgan,
CNN, Los Angeles, CA
2/23
Attack of the Show
G4tv, Los Angeles
2/23
Telepictures Meeting; Tonitely is born
2/25
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
2/26
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old, The Lovitz
Universal CityWalk
——-MARCH——-
3/4
-Opie & Anthony
Sirius/XM, NYC
– Midtown Comics Signing, NYC
3/5
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Radio City Music Hall, NYC
3/6 – Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Wilbur Theater, Boston
3/8
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Harris Theater, Chicago
3/9
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
State Theater, Minnesota
3/10
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Michigan Theater, Ann Arbor
3/11
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Clowes Hall, Indiana
3/12
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Midland Theater, Kansas City
3/14
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Clark State, Ohio
3/15
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Warner Theater, Washington
3/18
- 8pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
- 10pm: Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
3/19
- 8pm: SModcast 3D
- 10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Warfield Theater, San Francisco
3/22
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Paramount Theater, Denver
3/23
SModcast 3D
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
3/25
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
3/26
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
AMC Theaters, New Orleans
3/28
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Paramount Theater, Austin
3/29
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
Cobb Center, Atlanta
3/30
- 8pm: SModcast 3D
- 10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Hard Rock Live, Orlando
——-APRIL——-
4/1
- 8pm: SModcast 3D
- 10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Carnegie Music Hall, Pittsburgh
4/2
Evening with Kevin Smith,
Keswick, Philadelphia
4/4
Red State USA Tour
Screening/Q&A
McCaw Hall, Seattle
4/8
- 8pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
- 10pm: Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
4/9
Red State USA Tour Finale
Screening/Q&A
Wiltern Theater, Los Angeles
4/10
Kevin Smith Sells Out: The View Askew Garage Sale,
Live Auction, Los Angeles
4/12
NAB Conference for AVID
Las Vegas
4/15
- Allan Amato SModCo photo shoot
- Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
4/16
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
4/17
Red State at Quentin’s
Tarantino’s House, Los Angeles
4/22
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
4/23
- 8pm: SModcast 3D
- 10pm: Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
4/29
Evening With Kevin Smith
Morristown, NJ
4/30
- 8pm: SModcast 3D
- 10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Kingston, NY
——-MAY——-
5/2
- 8pm: SModcast 3D
- 10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Midland Theater, Kansas City
5/3
- 8pm: SModcast 3D
- 10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Pabst Theater, Milwaukee
5/4
- 8pm: SModcast 3D
- 10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Harris Theater, Chicago
5/6
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/7
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/9
- SIR! SModcast Internet Radio goes live
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- Cinema Enema w/ Jay & Silent Bob
G4tv, Hollywood
5/11
Noel Biderman on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
5/13
- Michael K Williams on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/14
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/17
Cinema Enema w/ Jay & Silent Bob
G4tv, Hollywood
5/18
Financial Times Interview/Photo
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
5/19
Nick Braun on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
5/20
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/21
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/23
Cinema Enema with Jay & Silent Bob
G4tv, Hollywood
5/24
– Marc Maron, Mick Foley on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- Jay & Silent Bob Get Old,
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/26
Dan Etheridge on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
5/27
– Scott Neidermayer on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/28
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/29
Poddammit – 12 Hour Podcast Marathon
- Babble-On ComicCon Theater
- Let Us Act
- The ABCs of SNL
- Plus One Live
- Having Sex, with Katie Morgan
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
5/31
Kurt Sutter and Katey Segal on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
——-JUNE——-
6/2
Julie Plec on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
6/3
- Jack Morrissey, Ethan Suplee on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
– Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
6/4
- Produced By Conference
Disney Lot, Burbank
- Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
6/11
SMoviola: Valley Girl
Q&A with Martha Coolidge, Deborah Foreman, Frederick Elmes
Lincoln Center, NYC
6/12
AMC pilot shoot
Secret Stash, Red Bank
6/13 – 6/19
- Red State at the Taor Mina Film Fest
- Meghan & Allan Get Engaged
Sicily, Italy
6/20
Joe Rogan on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
6/21
SMoviola: Rocketeer
Q&A with Joe Johnston, Bill Campbell,
Danny Bilson, Paul De Meo, Rick Baker, William Stout
El Capitan Theater, L.A.
6/22
- Deborah Foreman on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- NHL Awards
Norris Trophy Presenter
The Palms, Las Vegas
6/23
Marc Bernardin on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
6/24
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
6/25-6/26
Harley Birthday Weekend
Disneyland Hotel, Anaheim
6/27
Sara Benincasa on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
6/28
Nakia on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
6/29
- Heidi Holiker, Ralph Garman on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- SModcastle Final Night/SModcastle Closes
SModcastle
——-JULY——-
7/1
Jensen Karp on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/2
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
7/3
ABC’s of SNL 2
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
7/5
Adam Brody on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/6
Jay Mohr on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/8
- Zach Levi on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- 8pm: SMaudition
- 10:pm Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
7/9
SMarriage
Gavin and Nikki
Jay & Silent Bob’s Secret Stash, Red Bank
7/12
Christine Pazsitsky on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/13
Joe Utichi, Nikki Glaser on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/14
Chris Hardwick on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/15
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
7/16
- 8pm: SMarriage on SIR
Melody and Mark
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
-10pm: Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
7/18
- Tyler Posey, Jeff Davis on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- Cinema Enema with Jay & Silent Bob
G4tv, Hollywood
7/19
Holland Roden, Colton Haynes on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/20
Dylan O’Brien on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/21
SMeaker Launch/Etnies Party
ComicCon International, San Diego
7/22
- Moderate Epix CAPTAINS panels with William Shatner
ComicCon International, San Diego
- 8pm: Babble-On ComicCon
- 10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old at ComicCon
House of Blues, San Diego
7/23
Kev’s Annual Hall H Q&A
ComicCon International, San Diego
7/26
Kristen Bauer on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
7/26 – 7/27
Test taping for TONITELY pilot
Telepictures, Los Angeles
7/28
SModcast 3D
Montreal Just for Laughs Fest
7/29
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
7/30
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
——-AUGUST——-
8/2
Kev’s Birthday
8/3
Red State podcasters screening
Laser Pacific, Hollywood
8/4
Matt Jones on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
8/5
Carol Banker on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
8/5
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
8/6
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
8/8
Gary Shandling on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
8/10 – 8/11
TONITELY pilot shoot
8/12
8pm: Hollywood Babble-On
10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Hard Rock Strip, Las Vegas
8/13
8pm: Hollywood Babble-On
10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old Vegas
Hard Rock Café on the Strip, Las Vegas
8/14
Red Province Tour
Concordia Hall Theater, Montreal
8/15
Red Province Tour
Toronto Underground Cinema, Toronto
8/16
Red Province Tour
Garneau Theater, Edmonton
8/17
Red Province Tour
The Uptown Theater, Calgary
8/18
Red Province Tour
Vogue Theater, Vancouver
8/19
Red State Academy-Qualifying Run
7pm: Screening/Q&A
10pm: Screening/Q&A
New Beverly Cinema, Los Angeles
8/20
Red State Academy-Qualifying Run
7pm: Screening/Q&A
10pm: Screening/Q&A
New Beverly Cinema, Los Angeles
8/21
Red State Academy-Qualifying Run
7pm: Screening/Q&A
10pm: Screening/Q&A
New Beverly Cinema, Los Angeles
8/22
- For A Good Time, Call shoot
- Red State Academy-Qualifying Run
7pm: Screening/Q&A
10pm: Screening/Q&A
New Beverly Cinema, Los Angeles
8/23
– Kevin Pollak on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- Red State Academy-Qualifying Run
7pm: Screening/Q&A
10pm: Screening/Q&A
New Beverly Cinema, Los Angeles
8/24
- Zac Levi on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- Red State Academy-Qualifying Run
7pm: Screening/Q&A
10pm: Screening/Q&A
New Beverly Cinema, Los Angeles
8/26
8pm: Hollywood Babble-On
10pm: Red State Screening/Q&A
Alamo Drafthouse, San Antonio
8/27
8pm: Hollywood Babble-On
10pm: Red State Screening/Q&A
Alamo Drafthouse, Houston
8/31
Kelly Carlin on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
——-SEPTEMBER——-
9/1
- Red State hits VOD
- AMC greenlights Secret Stash
- Kev on TMZ
Los Angeles
- Tonight Show with Jay Leno
NBC, Burbank
- Joe Rogen Experience
Rogen Compound, California
9/2
6am: TV Satellites for Lionsgate Red State VOD release
Los Angeles
10pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
9/3
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
9/7
Evening with Kevin Smith
Content World Conference
Cleveland, Ohio
9/8
Keynote address, Content World Conference
Cleveland, Ohio
9/9
- Eliza Dushku on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
9/12
Red State UK Tour
Brixton Ritzy, London
9/13
Red State UK Tour
Cineworld Theaters, Glasgow
9/14
Red State UK Tour
Manchester Odeon, Manchester
9/15
Red State UK
Cineworld Theaters, Birmingham
9/16
Plus One London Live
Prince Charles Theater, London
9/25
Red State Streaming Screening/Q&A
New Beverly Cinema, Los Angeles
9/27
Epix: Kevin Smith Burn in Hell shoot
Paramount Theater, Austin
9/29
Rove L.A. taping
Hollywood
9/30
- Penn Jillette on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- 8pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
- 10pm: Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
——-OCTOBER——-
10/4
Craig Brewer on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
10/7
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Wilbur Theater, Boston
10/8
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Count Basie, Red Bank
10/14
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
New York ComicCon, NYC
10/15
- Red State wins Best Picture and Best Actor at the Sitges Film Festival, Spain
- SMoviola: Buckaroo Banzai
Screening/Q&A with John Lithgow and Peter Weller
Lincoln Center, NYC
10/17
- Kev on The View
NYC
- Hollywood Babble-On
World Café Live, Philadelphia
10/21
Paul Dini & Misty Lee on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
10/22
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
10/24
Ricky Mabe on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
10/26
- Ben Gleib on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
- 8pm: Red State Screening/Q&A
- 10pm: Red State Screening/Q&A
The Art Theater, Long Beach
10/27
Twitter Q&A
San Francisco
10/28
8pm: Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
10pm: Red State Screening/Q&A
Castro, San Francisco
10/29
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
——-NOVEMBER——-
11/4
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Hard Rock Café on the Strip, Las Vegas
11/5
Hollywood Babble-On
Hard Rock Café on the Strip, Las Vegas
11/7
Evening with Kevin Smith
The Spatz Theater, Halifax, Nova Scotia
11/11
Evening with Kevin Smith
Harpa Concert Hall, Reykjavik, Iceland
11/13
AMC Secret Stash show shoot: Podcasting
Red Bank, NJ
11/14
AMC Secret Stash show shoot: Hockey
Red Bank, NJ
11/15
Stephen Root on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
11/18
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Coach House, San Juan Capistrano
11/19
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
11/20
Talking Dead
KCET Studio, Los Angeles
11/21
Harley gets braces
11/22
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Belly-Up, Solana Beach
11/23
Matt Jones and Willful Creatures on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
11/26
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
11/30
Paul Scheer, Ben Gleib on SMorning Show
Jen Schwalbach’s House, Los Angeles
——-DECEMBER——-
12/2
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
12/3
ABC’s of SNL
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
12/3
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
12/7
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Vogue Theater, Vancouver
12/8
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
McDougall United Church, Edmonton
12/9
Harley’s school play
Los Angeles, CA
12/10
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Odeon, Saskatoon
12/11
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Burton Cummings Theater, Winnipeg
12/12
Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
The Spatz Theater, Halifax
12/13
AMC Secret Stash show shoot: Podcasting
Red Bank, NJ
12/14
AMC Secret Stash show shoot: Podcasting
Red Bank, NJ
12/17
Hollywood Babble-On
The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
12/31
6pm: Jay & Bob’s New Year’s Eve Poker Classic
10pm: New Years Babble-Eve, The Lovitz, Universal CityWalk
—————–
Next time someone tries to sell you a line of bullshit about stoners being lazy or unproductive (or even “burned out”), refer them to this blog entry.
Productive Stoners of the World – UNITE!
(Kids! Friendly reminder! Weed is for adults. Don’t smoke it ’til you’re in your late 30′s – that way, nobody can ever give you shit!)
—————–
I couldn’t have lived this awesome year on the road without the help of Meghan Quinlan, Jason Mewes, Carol Hammond, Jordan Monsanto, Alan Wysocki, Ralph Garman, Jon Gordon, Elyse Seiden, Ming Chen, Jeff Hyman and DEGY, Byron, Gail, Harley, or the entire S.I.R. and SModCo family. They said “Why not?” an awful lot this year. Thanks for the faith, my friends and fellow dreamers.
But when it comes to the truest of believers – someone who’ll back my play even when she’s not sure what I’m talking about – there is no better Sancho Panza in this world than Jennifer Schwalbach. She’s always there to keep me balanced while I’m tilting at windmills. I love you deeply, Super-Pal.
And lastly, thanks to you guys – the audience. You turned out in droves this year, supporting everything SModCo did – be it movies, podcasts, live shows, or the combination of all three! Thanks for feeding and clothing my family and putting a roof over our heads for yet another year (and maybe the rest of my life)!